So, here are my boys. A few years ago, I began to talk with them, more directly, about pornography.
They were 5 and 3.
They are 7 and 5, now. We talk about “good pictures and bad pictures,” often (not my phrase, but one from a book). “Bad pictures,” for now, are pictures that “hurt your heart.” Images of violence and/or images that are sexually provocative. You know, the stuff you see everywhere.
I tell them that they will know a bad picture instinctively because it will make them feel ashamed inside. But, I tell them that, in a weird way, they will want to look at it again. (Saint Augustine has helped me understand this part, for what it is worth).
The boys have lots of questions. They want to know why people would want to hurt other people’s hearts with pictures. On their own, they asked me if the only reason people would do that is to, “get money.” I find it interesting that that was their instinct.
They also wonder why I can see their momma. They wonder why that is such a good and beautiful thing, instead of a shameful one. They giggle about this sometimes. That is what they were laughing about in this photo.
There are so many questions.
Leland (the youngest) asked another question that day. It was a follow-up question as we got into it all again on our hike.
“Daddy, when bad pictures damage your heart, can it get healed?”
I was so deeply thankful that I could look at Leland in his huge brown eyes and say, “Oh, buddy. Of course.”
We cannot arrange our boys’ lives in a way that they never sin. That would be nice if it were possible. But, we can announce to our boys that they have a savior who welcomes sinners.
One who died to win them, who can make them whole, whose very nature it is to show mercy, whose grace can teach them to say no to ungodliness and whose power can break any chain.
One who can heal, no matter how bad the wound, and how terribly painful and slow the healing (these wounds heal very slowly). One who can redeem and restore in ways they cannot yet understand or imagine.
One who is the greatest treasure their hearts can know.
I’m so glad about Jesus.
(Note: Over the years, I’ve developed a seminar/workshop on parenting in a pornographic culture. Would love to help your community group, church, school, etc.)